Politification Part II: Sugar with your tea,________ party?


Oh the parties.

What a horrible name by the way– party?  There’s nothing partyish about a political group. Unless, of course, they win the election (the big one) and send their elephant/donkey confetti into the air, which is followed by  a bit of high-fiving and pompous strutting in ____ party’s respective offices,… then followed by the realization that gas prices went up again and the cafeteria food still sucks.

Tea Time

Let’s imagine I sit down to tea with Mr. Elephant and Senior Donkey and get to ask them/challenge them on anything I want.

Stay with me for a bit…

Hello Elephant, Donkey.
How are you, you old wrinkly mammal… And you! you silly  jackass—how’s life?

(chuckles and chortles exchanged; Donkey takes two large spoonfuls of sugar and Elephant says he prefers coffee anyway, so never mind.)

Okay gentlemen,
I’ve invited you here this afternoon to ask a few…tough questions.

First, what does Freedom and Democracy really mean to you?

Donkey, it seems that freedom to you, is leveling the playing field by reaching your hooves into pockets and forcing the “good” out of people.
But aren’t you, be forcing generosity, stealing the joy that humans naturally find in giving of themselves willingly? And don’t you trust the American people to take care of their neighbors friends? 

And democracy to you, Elephant, seems to be ignoring the ensuing problems of the middle-lower class to watch as a Darwinism-type effect weeds out the weak and leaves only the strong. When you choose ignorance, are you not going against your moral traditions of helping those who are in need?

(Neither creature comments.)

Okay… Let’s touch on a less offensive issue… 

So Donkey, you stand for women’s rights, correct?—the freedom for women to choose?
(Donkey shakes mane up and down vigorously, hee-hawing in agreement, a few recently printed bills slip out of his mane.)

What of the unborn child’s freedom to live? Is this not a violation of that human freedom and will to survive? … blobs of tissue? C’mon… you and I both know that’s how you started too, that’s how a lot of 40-year-old men still look, and the high-dollar abortion industry is either duping you or doing something shady to keep you quiet.


And you, Elephant. You believe abrotion wrong. Morally abase, inhumane and wrong.
(Elephant rears giant back, standing on 2 hind legs and lands, violently shaking  ground, …several old people nearby call into a local news station, report experiencing a mild earthquake.)

But what about funding programs for single mothers, funding educational programs for impoverished communities, standing up for not just the unborn babies, but the now living children?


End scene.


In my own life, I’ve struggled with the hypocrisy within each political party; these blaring inconsistencies so often go unquestioned. With such little knowledge of what happens day to day on capitol hill, I know I’m not the right person to start a political revolution. But I hope to be part of a revolution of new thinking for those in our generation. From birth we’ve been fed the breast-milk of divisive intolerance which has led to our fully matured political division.
Before it becomes a national division, what can we do to re-unify?

If you could sit down to tea or coffee with Mr. Donkey or Senior Elephant, what would you ask?

If you’re a believer, how do we pull away from corrupted ties to political parties and truly represent our God?


Politification Part I: Lefties, Righties and Tighty Whities

I feel ya, Keanu.
I feel ya, Keanu.

About a month ago I started reading a little non-fiction book called Pastrix. The book cover boasted: the cranky, beautiful faith of a sinner and saint. I like reading about cranky people and faith is good, so giddy-up!

The more and I read, the more I began to pick up on the author’s associations with ______political party. Though the majority of the first-person narrative was both interesting and insightful, the stories were funny & challenging, and the writing was good, the associations with the political party really started to rub me the wrong way. She even began to identify herself as a “______ Christian.” And the more she did this, the less I read.

I wondered… why am I doing this? Why can’t I read this book anymore?

And then a very sudden thought came to me: true *Christianity is not associated with any political system.

I mixed this around in my head a bit, waited a good month, and then started to write. And as fair warning, these next few posts may come off as pretentious at times.  It’s more my writing style  than believing I’m some sort of political genius. Let’s just make one thing clear: I’m not.

(commercial break)

 Christianity is not associated with any political system.
(Right now I’m envisioning Bob Costas reiterating that in his amazing, liquidy man-voice and squinting that horribly red eye of his… poor soul.)
p.s. See E, I was right… there was something wrong with his eye and it’s like trendin’ big time on google. 

By what strange means do I make this claim??!!!

A story:
There once was a people group that God was really involved with. He brought them out of captivity, blessed the socks off ‘em and made (and kept) some pretty bold promises. (If you’re like, LOL I’m not a Christian, yo. just look up the historicity/# of copies of the bible compared to other ancient writings. It’s pretty wild.)….Back to the people. They became known for their strength and though nomads for many years, became famous for their God—a deity who actually showed up and did real stuff and wasn’t just a statue.

Over these people, God appointed judges and He also chose to speak through specific individuals, called prophets. He was active, ruling the people fairly & justly… but the people got bored. They didn’t like not having a person rule; a guy like the other nations had who wore a little tiara and stole their land and shit. So they asked God for a king. God, needless to say, wasn’t too happy. He was their King, the only fair, just, and all-knowing One out of the bunch. Though hurt, He conceded (He’s no bully)  and gave them what the wanted, a king.


image credit:  the brick testament
image credit: the brick testament

Time after time, even the good kings showed themselves to stink in one area or another—whether it was making poor decisions in war, or being a bad dad (which led to more bad kings), or having so many wives (which was often a political allegiance) the nation became over-run with perverse, unjust horrible things.

Fast forward a couple thousand years, annnndddd here we are…still led by people (who may not wear silly tiaras but, ultimately,  still stink at what they do at least somewhat). Even the really good ones– even the really moral, or intelligent, or well-spoken ones— they’re human too.

God never stunk at being a ruler.  He knew His people and still does. It’s pretty clear that God would’ve kept it His way: no kings, no political parties, just Him being the good ruler and perfect shepherd He is. So should we ever let ourselves fully associate as being liberal or conservative?

In my mind, being a liberal or conservative has about as much to do with Christianity as underwear models. (see, I finally tied in the tighty whities.)

Your thoughts?